How I do

Sometimes it's a bitch just getting up in the morning, know what I mean? And on a day such as tomday, when time is STANDING STILL there are few things that can make the time pass:

1) Eating extra strong mints like popcorn. Kind of. I suck on them very slowly, so one mint takes at least 2 minutes, thereby providing a handy timekeeper and a reminder that the sands are indeed passing through the hourglass. If I were eating them like I eat popcorn I would be HOUSING those mofos and then breaking out into a salty, buttery sweat. God I fucking love popcorn. And to any smart alecs out there: the ONLY reason I am not going to MARRY popcorn (seeing as I love it so) is because I am already bound to another... so chill with the 4th grade jokes, JUDY BLUME!!! Bawaaahahahahahah.

2) Looking at photos of hamsters:



Sheeeeeeeeit, LOOK at that tough-as-nails leetle bastard. Hamster Mr. T.



Because hamsters have IT guys too, and even in the hamster world they are sweaty-palmed, wild-eyed, twitchy sons of bitches who you would never leave along with your children.




Clearly this hamster recently ate Mr. Peanut.

Now, I am not looking at photos of hamsterz cause I think they're cute- au contraire! I dislike hamsters IMMENSELY (aside from that fact that we had two when I was young AND a book on hamster care with photos. On said photos I went through and drew Rambo-esque headbands on all the animals. Just because I fucking COULD.) Eet ees reserach, people. Research. For my project. About hamsters.

3) Basking in the craziness that IS Willem Dafoe



'I can haz scary sex wit you?'

Bwaaahahahahaha!

I know, RIGHT? He's so sketchy! Who EVER would have THUNK that Willem Dafoe- seemingly everyday Joe- would be fucking Bonkers???? Just kidding, we all know he's cray-cray like Hannibal Lecter at a nudist colony! Boo yah!

Well, this has taken aup a bit o' time. Best get back to work. Ciao.