Untitled (Tuesday)

I cannot think of a title for this. In fact, all of the titles of allll of these posts are a complete waste of time. I could think of a clever one-liner, but I just ate my lunch and am feeling a bit slow at the momento- like Dom DeLuise after Pasta Monday.

On the other hand, yesterday's little list (I can go so much further, people. Don't try me) of pet peeves left me somewhat invigorated. I find my strength rather sapped these days, due perhaps to the fucking 9 YEAR LONG commute I have to make every morning; travelling back and forth in time, man. I am basically Emmett 'Doc' Brown now, folks... but minus the shock therapy hair and unfortunate waistcoats. Or maybe it is due to the nastophonic water in this city, which I believe has been dosed by the guv'mint to make us slow and lethargic, and soooon they will just start switching water for YooHoo in a nation-wide bid to up Yoo Hoo's fucking consumption tally and produce malformed babies to work in underground caves, turning giant wheels to provide power for the national grid- and who will notice? No-fucking-body, that's who.

Anyway, it being a Tuesday and all, which is usually my worst day of the week, I thought I would stay Positive- like rap in the 90s and try to talk about some things that I like:

1) This. I fucking like this a lot.



Mmmm, lick it up, fool! Mr. T ice cream ain't gettin' on no plane. I pity the fool who tries to take this scoop aboard any aircraft, shit will go LIVE. No messin'. Imagine Mr. T ASTRONAUT ice cream,! No way in HELL, people.


2) Signs involving crabs



Because when are crabs not funny? That's right: never.


3) Giant inflatable effigies of the Monopoly man... hmmm, too bad I didn't have an image of that shit... wait, what?




OH SNAP! Thar she blows. Permission to come aboard, sir? The best part for me is the wink and the tip of the hat. He knows something he's just not saying...



4) Shoes that look like waffles. No, I'm not even fucking with you.



BLAOW!

Now you're all, 'Say WHAT?!' and I'm all, 'I KNOW!' and then you're like, 'Ohhh DIP!' and I'm like, 'I TOLD your ass.'

Fin.