Best Movie Ever Made

Controversial topic, yes, but I am CONFIDENT that once you see this trailer you will agree. Elnie knows what I'm talking about...

Okay, are you with me? Good, now we can talk about HOW INSANE ANTHONY HOPKINS'S EYE MAKEUP IS in that shit. What the fuck? He looks like fucking Scarface.



Up in the crib, chillaxing... and yes, I am going to do it:

'SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!!'



BWAAAAahahahahaha. I know, unoriginal. It has been done, but I could not resist... which leads me to my next point: how has R. Montalban flown under my radar for so fucking long?



This man has been marauding about, stealing hearts and apparently a fair few nasty ass hair extensions and yet this is the first time I have had cause to bust his ass... and speaking of BUST, peep that nipple sneaking out there. Nassssstteeeee.

Anyway, have I mentioned my new job? It being London and all, welp, I got me a job as a chimney sweep!

Here I am, below.



I earn a few extra coins doing chalk drawings on the 'pavement' (I know, how fucking wrong-headed is that?) and take small children and loose women for mild-blowing, psychedelic tours into new worlds of my own creation and devious design- I fucking KNEW that art degree would come in handy! And if that shit ever gets old (like it EVER will, dude, it is the best gig EVER) I am gonna go for the Sorting Hat job at Hogwarts:



Wahhhhh, check me OUT! I'm all up on your head, telling you where you BELONG. Know your place, young'un. Listen to Freeman the Sorting Hat and know thine own self. I do a bit of beat-boxing as well. The kids fucking LUV it. Oooooga oOOOOga chubba chubba! Fuck yeah.