This could be true...

Guess what:

I am shit-canning this job to embark on a career in film.

I am remaking 'Days of Thunder' (using the original cast, natch- when ELSE am I going to get the chance to work with Randy Quaid? I mean, his ass is booked solid for YEARS... oh, wait...) as it should have been done in the first place:

DAYS OF CHOWDER



Imagine! Here is the plot summary:

'Days of Thunder revolved around a talented, hot-shot auto racing rookie, Cole Trickle (Cruise), who, after trying his hand in the American open wheel ranks, seeks to win on the NASCAR circuit. His mechanic mentor, Harry Hogge (Duvall), acts as his crew chief and Dr. Claire Lewicki (Kidman) is a young brain surgeon who tries to tame Cole.'

Fuck me, it would be brilliant: just subsitute 'chowder' for 'cars' or 'racing'... fucking Tom Cruise stirring a huge pot of steaming chowder, ladling it out to brain surgeon Nicole Kidman, daring her to try some extra black pepper...

Damn I am WASTED on this job. Sigh, if only I were wasted, it would make being SCOLDED FOR WEARING JEANS TO WORK sting a bit less.

PS: How good is the name Harry Hogge? I bet Duvall wrote that shit hismelf... that and the 'Assassination Tango' debacle and the whole 'Secondhand Lions' catastrophe are enough to make him my new nemesis.