The best of a bad bunch

Believe it or not, I am not exactly 100000% happy with the world at the moment. I know: shock horror!!

But it's the freakin weekend, peeps so I am going to bust it out HAPPY STYLE and talk about good things:

1) Bus driver acknowledgement etiquette



I fucking love it when bus drivers wave at each other. It's like primeval beasts bellowing to each other across prehistoric bogs. Even better is when they stop and have a little chat, like cops pulling up next to each other in an abandonded parking lot strewn with crack vials. Class. It's just so heartwarming it makes me get all choked up.

And while on the topic of bus drivers, I would like to give a shout out to one Hawthorne James, the actor who plays Sam the Bus Driver in the film 'Speed.' Say ALL you want to about K Dog Reeves (god knows I have) but do not diss Sam the Man... he's the one who gets shot and then the whole shit just KICKS OFF, Dennis Hopper Crazy style. Sam has the most amazing hair in that film: like a soft brown cape, or Darth vader's helmet. I have tried my DAMNDEST to find an image of him on the internet, to no avail. So you'll just have to trust me on this one: it's just good shit. Take a hit and pass it along.

Errrmm, what else.

2) The shop I pass on my way to work. It is called N.A. Yams Ltd. Do they sell yams and ONLY yams? God I fucking hope so.

Right. Two things. Great. Just for KICKS let's see what happens when I talk about something that I am NOT so fond of:

1) Chocolate fountains


Just LOOK at how nasty that shit is! And the little chubster hand sneaking in from the side, gettin' some chocklit... I can just imagine some nasty finger licking going on and then another dip in the fountain....uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhgggghhhhh.


2) McGruff the Crime Dog



Because seriously, who is he kidding? He is basically in a child molester's uniform. All he needs is a white van and a wispy moutsache and maybe some aviator shades or something. Fuck crime- he will take a bite out of innocence, friends. Sad and scary stuff.

And yet, it feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks,



Thank you for being a friend.