A Few Good Men

Just some food for thought here, peeps:







I'm thinking of doing a nature show a la David Attenborough. Just gathering material.

I'll keep you posted.

This is it

This picture perfectly sums up how I feel about both pizza and sharks.

R U Serious?

Because this guy is. And he wants to take things to another level: a 'ride behind me on my motorcycle, feel the talons of my falcon dig into your arm' kind of level.

Happy Halloween!

Wazzzzzzzzzzzzup

Hey, bitches.

What have I been up to? Abso-fricking-lutely NADA, that's what.

Aside from canoeing down the river of life, that is:



Yep, been spending some of my precious lunch hour looking at photos of taxidermy gone wrong:



Yes, it DOES look like something Nicholas Cage might hide in the inside pocket of his supple leather coat, while he pauses to pose insouciantly on the red carpet. Grinning like a goofy abstard, because only HE knows what's lurking under just one thin layer of leather, ready to be unleashed. Voila!



But where was I? Oh right, taxidermy:



Get it? It's a MOUSE... that really IS a mosue. Now that's fucking witty.

And probably could give you some sort of skin disease if you're not too careful. Man, the rashes I've had... but that's for another post, eh?

But I've lingered too long, and now my time is up. I'll just take my cyberpunk animatronic gazelle/deermouse creature and be off:



Toodles!

Hold the phone.

Do you mean to tell me that there is someone out there named JENSON BUTTON? And that he has actually been making headlines, and I did not know about it?

What the fuck? What fucking ROCK have I been living under, you ask, that I did not KNOW about Benjamin Button's famous racecar driving BRO?

Oh, just the kind of rock that also shelters adorable baby monkeys and hungry monkeys focused on fucking FEASTING:





I know, it's not much of an excuse, but it's honest to god the truth. I've just been so absorbed with freaking out about these little fuckers and their cuteness that I have not had time for this race car driver and his family's reverse-ageing ways.






Freaky, right? I mean, what kind of WITCHES' BREW is being passed around here? I mean, these two look NOTHING alike! It's almost as if these elusive BUTTON BROTHERS aren't even RELATED! But that's wayyyyyy the fuck too far out. I mean, they're both named Button, right?

I rest my case.

Peekaboo!

Hiya!

Where have I been hiding? Oh, nowheres special, friends. Just behind this ONCE LIVING ANIMAL'S fur, that's all. Not to mention my own beard, which is threatening to eat my face.



Grooming becomes that much more difficult as I grow older... sigh.

Seriously though peoples. Aside from blazing wild trails across the wilds of this great country, cooking lots of hot, brown food and weaving a variety of baskets, I have been up to absofuckinglutely nuthing. But look at them thar purty baskets.



Wellllll, now that's not entirely true. Let me tell my story with pictures:













That's right, guys. It's been all about alien abductions and barbecue. What can I say? Fucking September, right?

A Bone to Pick

Dear Turner Classic Movie Channel,

I was curious to see in your film schedule that you have chosen to add 'My Giant' to your film rotation. I am a fan of film in its many guises, and YET I find it odd- to say the least- that you have deemed 'My Giant' a cinema classic.

One would naturally expect older films, and maybe a 'new classic' here or there, but by what mad stretch of the imagination does 'MY GIANT' fit into either category? Was it a nod of the head to Billy Crystal's long career? If so, surely a 'City Slickers', 'When Harry Met Sally' or even 'Throw Mamma From the Train' would fit the bill for Pete's sake!

Or perhaps it was a warm welcome to Gheorghe Muresan- a 'we wish you well in your acting endeavours' type of thing? Well, TCM- I can only say, well fucking DONE. You really picked a winner.

I await your response.

Sincerely yours,

Baffled in London