The Batch is Back

I know, you probably think that was a typo and I meant to write 'bitch', but guess what: you be wrong. I really like the idea of referring to myself as The Batch. Like a batch of muffins, puppies or eels. People in London say it all the time. It's how we roll. My life is the street life, people.

So I know I have not written anything in a long time. This is down to two reasons 1) we have no internet access at our new flat and 2) I have a new job which means that for a FEW weeks I have to try and make a good impression. Never mind the fact that the new job is filled with people who are SO FUCKING STRAIGHT they make me feel like an obese, sweaty man, roving the country side in a white van filled with slightly soiled plush toys. Seriously, this shit is DIRE. I have thus far heard two conversations about new pairs of Ugg boots and one about waiting in line at the butcher shop... and somehow that one DIDN'T end with a dirty punchline. Damn.

They're nice people. I am not. You do the math(s).

Right now I am in New York, waiting for Daniel to get his sorry ass out of the shower so I can get my BAGEL on. So in two days I will be back and then I shall write more. I promise.