Have I Mentioned...

That there are maybe one or two leeetle things that drive me COMPLETELY FUCKING APESHIT??? Yes friends, the calm before the storm is over and now, no matter what the effing weather, I cannot be tamed.

It all started when I stumbled upon www.agencyofmagic.com, the home of Arizona's hotspot for amateur magicians and balloon artists. BALLOON artists people. I kid you not. Waaahhhhhh! Why do these people persist in torturing me?




Oh who am I kidding, that's me in the center, shooting hella props to my sliz-neeces down at the Emmett 'Doc' Brown Lookalikes Club.  Great scott! 

Bwaaahhhhh. Just kidding. Even in my WILDEST cold-sweat inducing fever dreams would I ever stoop to donning an enormous balloon top hat. Nope, methinks I have bigger fish to fry:



Here I am in my early days as a magician, just starting out, getting my feet wet. Things went very wrong. Dead wrong in fact. Shit stank so bad I went BALD. It nearly put and end to my performing career.

Good thing my ass bounced BACK with a vengeance:



Mmmmm hmm, that's right Here I am levitating some fool back in the 90s. I was the opening act for Doctor Choctopuss and his hit single 'Huge Tub of Ice Cream (extended version)'. BOOMING bass, y'all.

Or that's what it LOOKS like, in fact the sight of the scary ass Aladdin's ghost Goofy dwarf in the background scared the shit out of me and I lost control of my POWERS and blasted this poor dude like cray cray.

And thus ended my career in magick. Now I just wander the streets, talking to people like you about the way things used to be. On the plus side the hair grew back.

Smoooches!