happy day!

I have the day off! Nothing to do but sit around in my pajamas, eat chocolatey cereal and search the couch cushions for change (no dice, dry as a bone).

But, while idly perusing the internet for duck photos (mild obsession), I have stumbled upon this BEAST WOMAN:



Look at their little inert bills, the webbed feet, strung about this vile woman's neck like some sort of macabre feather boa! here's the thing: this photo was taken in Florida, according to the caption... Florida is chock full of olds... what do old people like more than a nice pond with ducks, and here is this monster going around KILLING THEM ALL. She not only hates ducks, she hates old people as well! A pox on her head! God it brings me near to tears. I wasn't going to stoop so low as to comment on her appearance, as she can hardly help it, but people REALLY: it looks like a heavily made-up Eddie Murphy might be lurking under there in some sick twist on The Nutty Professor: Duck Hunting with the Klumps.

Bah! This has put me in a bad mood. I need to clear my head. Fuck it, I'm going surfin':




I'm still learning, a little unsteady on my pins, and this damn diaper and potbelly do not help AT ALL, but one day I'll get the hang of it.

The only trouble is, every tie I try and catch and innocent little wave I suddenly find myself cuaght up in some crazy anti-establishment surfers burglary ring and next thing you know:



Yep, jumping out of a fucking plane with P. Swayze AGAIN... linked in mutual hatred of THE MAN... to be honest, it's getting a little old.

Bwaahahahaha. I know, I know. I have mentioned Point Break before, but seriously: HOW can a film starring Keanue Reeves (playing a guy named JOHNNY UTAH- you cannot make this shit up), Patrick Swayze and Gary Busey NOT be mentioned constantly? HOW? It defies the very laws of probability.

The tagline for Point Break? '100% Pure Adrenaline.' I second that fucking emotion, man. And how.

Okay. I go outside now. Fresh air.