Career Path

Do you ever think maybe you have taken a wrong turn somewhere? I know I feel that way on a DAILY BASIS. I have decided there are a few career options I could really sink my teeth into:



Happy butcher! Everyone loves a jolly, rotund butcher, eh? And they have some of the best jokes told about them! I would kick ass as a 'no nonsense but likes a good fucking joke' butcher. Not to mention being able to do some SERIOUS ass-shredding air guitar on a huge fucking joint of beef! DIG ITTTTTT. The only draw back? Sawing into bloody flesh. Not sure I'm quite THERE yet.


Okay, what else?



I could so easily join this troupe of merry pranksters, roving the countryside, most likely sleeping in haylofts, cavorting with farmers' daughters, drinking mead, etc. But what if I didn't fit in? What if- as so often happens- they were all up for some rumpy-pumpy and I just wanted to stay in and play Uno! Talk about a lameass move, man. They would kick me to the curb with the quickness.

For some reason I also *kind* of have the feeling they may be into rrrather kinky shit. Just me? Hmm, that's odd.

It leaves me with one of my final choices:



Serious political pundit. (That's me there in the chicken costume). Shit, just cause I'm a pundit don't mean I can't fucking cut LOOSE now and then! What? I fly first fucking class, I voice my opinions on the current administration on air at least thrice weekly, I mind my OWN, man. Check yourself.

OR I could just THROW IN THE TOWEL and use what the good lord gave me and become a model. Here I am doing 'pensive.'




I also do catalogue work. Call me.