Decisions

I have made up my mind: if I were ever to be a Batman villain, I would HAVE to be The Penguin... if only because I feel it is my destiny to be played in a film by Danny DeVito. Yes, I think it has been foretold somehow, maybe there was a prophecy or something and somewhere an old, wise wizard in a long, white beard is gazing into some crystal ball (ew, dirty! hahahahaha!) and saying, 'Yes, it is written...'



And he has such a fucking kickass umbrella collection, I would never be left out in the rain!



That said, the whole 'searching for my true identity, having penguin flippers for hands and constantly spewing black bile' does not really appeal to me... a bit too touchy-feely, no? I am a bit more balls-out DeVito: Fucking dishevelled Panama hat wearing, steal your granny and sell her on the black market, run over your beloved dog and cure the meat and sell as bacon... again on the black market (DeVito is STRICTLY cash, y'all), raid your mother's panty drawer (ewwwwww) and- yep, you guessed it: sell that shit on the black market.



I mean, were we separataed at birth or WHAT?? Whuuuuh OH, speaking OF:



Bwahhhh! I know, easy as pie, but guess what: you were fucking begging for it. You know you were. And while we are here, who know Arnold had such huge horse teeth! I could see him in a pen at the county fair, being manhandled by men in flat caps... or maybe that's just the liquor talking. Hic!

Cheeeershhh... thithsonesferyou! Snnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.