Aspirational Images

Generally speaking, I am content with my lot in life. Wait, that is such bullshit, I am anything but content, but what I mean is I am not toooooo bitter about it. Wait, that is bullshit as well. Fuck it. I don't have a leg to stand on. What I mean to say is...

I wish I were Teen Wolf.



Seriously. On my BEST day I can MAYBE bowl 100... fucking TEEN WOLF here bowls 300 regularly... and rocks the plaid all the while. I can SO not get away with that shit. And do not think I haven't tried.

SIDEBAR: I feel I MUST mention the fact that in college there was a guy who worked at the Feve (holla!) who sported the plaid Teen Wolf shirts (and may or may not have had prominent canine teeth) while ALSO resembling Scott Baio. Elnie and I dubbed him BAIOWOLF. That, my friends, is how it's fucking DONE. God, that's good shit.

Annnywayz, back to the matter at hand. I am, as per usual, still on the lookout for Halloween Inspiration, and shit like THIS gives me hope that I am not the only crazy-eyed dreamer out there.



How awesome is it that the guy on the right dressed as Teen Wolf's DAD? I seriously need these peoples' digits. Because I am thinking of just fucking going all out and dressing as Teen Wolf's BIGGEST FAN:



WHAT THE FUCK? I don't know. I just don't know. My main issue is how to transport that amount of cola with me wherever I go, but I can handle it. I may have to pull some crazy shit, but logistics is my forte, people...



I mean, I managed to go one year as Doc Brown's mind reading apparatus, so you tell ME what I cannot do... that's right. Speaking of Doc Brwon, it occurs to me that really the IDEAL costume would be Doc Brown Through the Ages... but I see that these FREAKS are one step ahead...



I mean, is that dude even SUPPOSED to be Doc, or does he just fucking randomly show up at the Universal Studios parking lot and charge people to have their photo taken with the biggest ass-munch in L.A.?



The ONLY way you would even THINK that this bastard had anything to do with Back to the Future is because he has managed to plop himself down- as one would upon a toilet seat- next to a DeLorean and just look fucking APESHIT.

That really pisses me off. I TRY, people. I try damn hard. Look at me here as Doc AND Marty 'Life Vest' McFly.
Look at the sheer TERROR in my face(s)! That cannot be bought. That comes only with PRACTICE and a private knowlegde that the Libyans from whom you have stolen your plutonium will be hutning you down like a dog... God help us all. And fucking MARTY... I mean, it's no picnic dressing up as a 35 year old (if he's a DAY) MAN playing a 16 year old BOY who may or may not 'happen' to get it on with HIS OWN MOTHER. I couldn't sleep for months.



I need a holiday.