A Few Things

1) I will never find a job. I am not (only) feeling sorry for msyelf. I am stating a cold, hard fact.
Wait! Cold? Hard? That brings me, via completely logical progression, to yes, wait for it...

2) TANGO AND MOTHERFUCKING CASH, y'allz.



A few issues with this film: first off, how in ANY universe, is it possible for SYLVESTER STALLONE to be the 'by the book' cop? Seriously. The man is so fucking over the top, he would chew off his own leg... or your leg... or any fucking leg that got in his WAY. And yet HE is the straight-laced one?!? It makes you wonder what kind of dark, sinister, barroom bet he had going with Kurt 'Escape from L.A.' Russell so as to wind up The Suit. The man's name is Ray Tango. How fucking amazing is that? Russell gets the more dubious Gabriel Cash, which is a bit lame... but anyway. They are framed and have to clear their names! I so totally relate to that! One of my worst fears is being accused of a crime I did not commit! I think about it a lot.

Anyway, it's a classic Odd Couple story, so sweet, yet so sour (that would be the pong of Russell's off-the-shoulder sweatshirts, I believe, or the astringent scent of Stallone's ubiquitous cologne).

Whoa, check this out:



I do't know who did this, but I would like to shake their hand. Sometimes you see things that just make you shake your head and mutter 'By george, he's got it' under your breath. This, my friends, is one of those things. Hats off to you, mysterious genius.

Speaking of GENIUS, I have never seen this film, and yet am mildly obsessed by it. To the point where in college my friend and I went on amazon.com to write fake reviews of it. Here is one choice piece ... and yes, drugs were involved. BUT even sober I still think that shit is hilarious.

Wow, I need to take a good, loooong look at myself.

And then there's this: I swear in recent years I have met someone who claims that this is his favorite film (I am nearly positive it was a guy- because, let's fucking face it- only a guy could be that balls-out crazy). If you are out there, Crazy Man... I hope the meth is not making you SWEAT too much, a la David Silver in Beverly Hills 90210 when he gets addicted to mixing meth and orange juice for 2 episodes and has some dicey run in with a whore or something. I think I made that bit about the whore up, but it IS David Silver here, people... the man is not above paying for a lady's 'time'.

But, that said, props to that crazy Tango and Cash loving bastard for just being that fucking crazy and OBVIOUSLY not caring if he is ever respected by his friends, family, etc. Anyone who has that little regard for their social life has my kudos.


3) I leave you with this, friends:



A giant can of Wup Ass. Symbolic of the many violent beatings T & C have administered during their careers with the LAPD. God bless.