My Love

Dear Object of my Obsession,

I would like to set myself on fire on your lawn, have my next of kin gather the ashes, grind them up and put them in a jar of Avon face mask. I would then have this same next of kin deliver this poultice to your door. You would then smear ME all over your face, leave for 8-10 minutes and wash off with a damp cloth. We would be forever linked.

Signed,

This Guy