As per usual

My shit day the other day was SAVED by an EXCEPTIONALLY insane Inspector Morse episode. It is just so fucking good. Could it be replacing Columbo in my heart of hearts? Mmm, fat chance.

However, this particular selection was too much. First of all, and this may just blow you out of the water (I know it totally freaked ME out): Morse gets BIZZZAY! Bizz bizzay buzz buzzy bizzzz. He get the BUSINESS done. It is so gross. he FLIRTS and gives COME HITHER gazes. And then there is a whole 'morning after glow' thing where he doesn't listen to what LEWIS is saying. It's so wrong. I had to cover my eyes. Seriously. I was on the couch, squirming and covering my eyes because it was so embarrassing.

BUT the creme de la creme was the fact that this episode (Dead on Time, 1992) has in it the MOST over the top butler EVER. I mean EVER. And that is really saying something. This butler is named McGregor and has the most INSANE Scottish accent (fair enough, the actor is from Argyll), oh, and did I mention that he has AN EYEPATCH? No? Well he does.

Other famous eyepatch wearers? Anyone? Does this guy count?



He is perhaps not famous in the tradtional sense, but I feel he must be 'that guy' to a lot of people. Perhaps he is known to the police? It certainly looks like he is up to no good.




This was just a throwaway, and yet I could not hold back. Those plastic masks really freak me out. It's the lips I think. Everyone winds up looking like Tim Curry.

Speaking of whom, is it me or has he SWOLLEN?



Whoa. Back the FUCK up. Is that Tim Curry holding a mini JACKALOPE wearing a Union Jack(alope) sweater? Good GOD, man! It's as if the ALMIGHTY herself (HA! Love saying that shit, it's too cheesy, it's like I am my grade school music teacher! Sorry.) has FINALLY heard my prayers, poured a gallon of whiskey down Curry's throat, blindfolded him, spun him around 50 times, put a mini jackalope in his hand and set him loose at a cocktail party. Praise be!

Anyway, speaking of swollen actors, how did the fact that RUSH HOUR 3 came out escape my attention???



The question is, does Chris Tucker get paid more now that he has officially DOUBLED IN SIZE?