Dressed for Success

Anyone who knows me knows that I am quite the clothes horse... if by 'clothes horse' you mean 'really only wears three things over and over'... but I have been taking an interest in fashion these days... IN MY DREAMS!

It's true.

I have recently had a vision of sorts, kind of, more a dream: HAM SLACKS. Now, I have thought of this before, but I saw them in a fever dream the other night and it's kind of starting to just make sense.



Look at those thick, luscious slices of ham, would they not be perfectly suited to a fine robe of sorts? Yes, yes they would. The ideal is clearly ham slacks, as if you get hungry you can eat a bit off the ends and eventually wind up with ham hotpants.

I know, fucking genius.

Anyway, I am not the only one with a keen eye for fashion:



Perfect togs for clubbing seals. Let the punishment fit the crime, tiny bundles of joy! Okay, clubbing seals is NOT funny, but somehow going shopping for the perfect outfit in which to do so IS. Am I wrong? It's like Pol Pot at KFC... or something.



Now THIS is my idea of haute fucking couture- clown on the skids chic. Is he post killing rampage or pre? I cannot tell, he just looks medicated. Lithium? The Choice of Clowns!



Look at this poor bastard. It's like he has been drawn by a police sketch artist and then animated by some demented wizard. This photo MUST constitute child abuse. He is like a missing Van Dyke child. His name is PROBABLY Larry.



But hey, it's Friday. I drink to you... and to the fact that the only good thing about these two being together means you will never have to sleep with either one of them.

Kisses!