Apologies

My people, my people. I have let you down once again. It's just not working, is it? Much like my recent attempt to control Mel Gibson's MIND!



There I am, the giant head behind him, telling him to kill kill kill... but no, instead he just touches himself and babbles incoherently. I mean, who is he, some kinda BALDWIN BROTHER?

BwAAZZZZzaahahahazzzazazazazazaza! That's my new laugh. It gets great results. Sometimes I do it really loud as an old person is trying to balance a bowl of soup and a tall glass of milk on a tray. Armageddon! Hot, soupy times.


Soooowanywayzzzzz, what was the POINT of this? Ah yes, yet again apologizing for my inadequacies. Don't worry. This won't be the last time. If ONLY I could find a way to say these words... if only there was a special someone out there who could say them for me!!!

Hooo, shit! Hold the fucking PHONE people:




Shitting HELL! Any number of these freakish little munchkins could do the trick... hmm, I wonder if there's anything these fellows CAN'T do!!!



Oh SNAP! This shit has gone too far... but I suppose I should have known about the raging libido on these little dudes. Just LOOK at the dirty ass gaze this wee bastard is giving me:



OMG, he's totally undressing me with his eyes... his dead, glassy eyes.

Methinks this could be the beginning of something. Cut to soft-focus shot of me and creepy ass ventriloquist doll walking on the beach wearing gauzy clothing... almost as romantic as an ad for herpes medication!

SEE YA!