Because I Care

Wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuuup!

Yes folks, tis I. I'm seriously so chipper lately. I am one affirmation away from writing a fucking self-help book here. STOP ME!

Yet, if I did I would be sure to add in the following suggestions- a sure-fire mood booster:

When someone overtakes you on the sidewalk, speed up ever so slightly, so you are walking side by side. Do this for about 20 seconds, it freaks the SHIT out of people and instantly cheers you up. I did it yesterday to a woman on my walk home. It totally messed with her head. THEN I CRUSHED HER WITH MY GIANT HAND!!!!




Mwwwahahahahahahaha! Totally kidding, my giant hand is not so nasty and hairy. My shit is groomed to perfection. I keeps it nice.

SIDEBAR: not to give up my mystical powers or anything, but I found that picture of the giant hand on an amazing model train website. Please peep below the LIGHTNING BOLTS. Talk about playing god. I love it.




What would be great would be a few boxcars on the back of the train with some little hobos on there, and maybe further down the line some little houses with fences with special hobo signs drawn on them, and a pie cooling on a windowsill. God bless America.

But where were we? Oh yeah, my new Zen outlook on life. I don't know, I'm just so THERE, ya know? Like, at ONE with myself, the earth, this hay bale and my laptop:



'I just come out here sometimes just to think- clear my head, take it all in and then just, like, WRITE. It's all about being barefoot... with the HAY, and like, the SKY. It's just so CHILL.'

Whatta prick