To Whom It May Conrcern

To the fucknuts in the CHEESECLOTH shirt who bumped me out of the way this morning at London Bridge station,

I REALLY hope those few seconds you gained by hip-checking me made the difference in your journey to the DICK WAD convention you MUST have been on your way to. How else can one explain the gauzy shirt, the soft leather moccasins and the sheer disregard you showed for my personal safety? I WAS BY THE EDGE OF A TRAIN PLATFORM, you ass munch! I COULD HAVE DIED. I hope you rot in hell.

All the best,
Me