Let's Try Something New!

Hi there! I'm feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed today, don't know why... but who am I to ask, eh? EH? Before this good mood dissipates, I thought I would show you some of my childhood pics!




PSSSYYYYYCHE! I really had you going there, didn't I? BwAHHHH ha ha ha! Damn, foolz, sure I had a bowl cut, but PUH-leeze! I didn't work at KMART as a child, for fuck's sake! Okay okay, for real this time. Here I am feeling summery:




Hooooohohohohohohoho! It just gets better every time! Zing! THAT'S not me, you BOZO! Though I am a sultry one... ew. Sorry, but LOOK at that photos. How creepy is it? Little slice of MADNESS!

Welp, anyhoo, here I am below, sittin' back chillaxing with what is the best bowl east of the Mississippi. Step up, folks, take GOOD look. You're not going to see shit like this very often. It's like a blue moon... or a Yeti.



What? You doubt the veracity of my statement? Well FUCK all y'all! I'm proud of my chubby, bowl-cutted self. Sportin' like there ain't no tomorrow.... ah, once again death creeps into this pretty painted picture. Such is life, mes amis.

RIGHT: as winter edges closer and we all huddle around the fire I like to look back on images of summer. Here I am on holiday.



Laaaaaiiiid back. Nothing like some fresh melonz. Inspired by my HERO, psycho freak props comic Gallagher, I decided to a go a bit 'Melon Crazy' myself:



Tee hee! I KNOW, right? Fucking comic genius. I need to LAUGH more, man. THAT'S my problem: I live my life in a world without laughter, slogging to work under a black cloud, well FUCK IT. This shit is gonna BREAK LOOSE. Bust ou the HAPPY JUICE, cause I'm going on a BENDER!



Waaaahhhh! Crazy plastic bowl cut wig! I Fucking AYYYYY, man! Now just close your eyes and picture me, but smaller... a bit blonder, looking even more like the Campbell's Soup Kids with that shit on my head. Because it was for REAL. I can feel it now, the cold metal of the bowl against my ears, the slice of the scissors and, LO! A fresh bowl cut is born.

Okay, this has totally gotten away from me, so I am going to wrap shit up and end this with a little dignity still intact:



'Plush leetle tyyyygers, my friendz! Ja! I use them to BUFF zee wreeenklez avay, und den I tayke dem and PLUNGE zem in zee Reeeeever! ahh hah hah ha hahahahaha. But sssssssh, for Roy, he does not KNOW zat I do zis. Nein, he ist very attached to zees little liebchens. He is SOFT und vill someday REALIZE zat he is VEAK! So for now it ist chust our little seceret. ja? Gut.... EHHHRRRRR gut.'