Fed Up

Fed up, you say? With what?

Why, with the smirking face and bald pate of Bruce Willis, natch!



Yep, it's been building up for years now. And finally, I can take no more. It's the way he PURSES his lips and how his scalp just SHINES, as if it is oiled daily by small children in rags, as part of some religious ceremony. I can picture him in saffron robes, charging the Dalai Lama $10 to rub his bronzed Buddha belly. So gross, Willis.

And as if that weren't bad enough, he ALREADY contributed to one of the greatest crimes against humanity: LOOK WHO'S TALKING. The unholy trinity of Travolta, Willis and (sudder) Alley basically busted out what turned out to be one of the most INSUFFERABLE films of our time.



Featuring B. Willis as sperm, embryo, fetus and finally- baby... with fucking SHADES!?!

Who okayed this shit? I am guessing it is somebody I will want to knife in a dark alley. Par exemple:



Make no bones about it, I fucking hate Tom Skerritt, so much so that speaking his name is akin to choking on a chicken bone. His musty moustache, his shit-eating smirk... it just all spells Murder Most Foul! It's like he's BEGGING me to assault him, right? That'll hold up in court!



I know I am not alone in my Schwimmer hatred. I am sure there are group out there I could join, tshirts I could wear, etc. I will take the classy route and just say, 'Up yours, Schwimmer!'

Okay, this last baby is a real pet hate of mine. Those who know me well know that this guy ranks very high on my List. Yes, it's fucking ERIC STOLTZ. He inspires a rage in me that is so pure, I could bottle it and sell it as baby tears.



Look at him: smirking, skulking, he's just so SMUG. Yet, even Stoltz is not without his glory. Witness the genius of 'Mask.'



Just look at the plot summary from imdb: 'A boy with a massive facial skull deformity and biker gang mother attempts to live as normal a life as possible under the circumstances.'

Ah yes, 'under the circumstances.' a phrase I know well. And last but SO not least, the Halloween costume to end them all:



I know, right? It's like the fucking holy grail. I may turn to dust if I touch it. What if I am not worthy? Therein lies the deadly attraction. I must have it. 2008 is gonna be a hell of a year!