Curiouser and Curiouser

Heh! I have a wee assignment from Professor MacKenzie in this post, so bear with me.

Anyway, last night- though it was a Monday- was a steady rockin' hoedown. But before the dulcet tones of The Beat Trap began to ring in our ears, I endured one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life... wait, I'm not so young anymore.

So, there I was... at the 13th Note with a bunch of people, alreday slightly discombobulated from being ignored by the bartender (perhaps due to my shortness of stature). I tried to get some chairs from another table so that Daniel and I could sit down and join our friends. Well, basically a transaction ensued that rivalled a stringent haggling in the casbahs of Morocco: this guy, after saying I could take two chairs, then proceeded to 'joke around' and ask me for 5 p apiece. I said 'ha ha ha! I have no money' as I dragged the chairs away, assuming that would be the end of it. Ohhhhh no. The guy: in his 60s, bleary blue eyes, mussed white hair, a set of quite shocking teeth- a bit unsteady, but not in terrible shape, yet HARDLY callipygian. He came over to the table where we were all sitting peacefully and started to harrass me (in a jocular way)to pay up to 10 p I owed him for 'lease' of the chairs. I protested a bit more, and as I did, I betrayed my American accent and he was onto me.

Once he found out I was American, he insisted that 'The Scots may be tight, but the Americans are even tighter!' Then, in a strange turn of events, he gave me a 2 pound coin, and pressed it into my hand, making me keep it, and kept telling me to put it in my pocket. This whole interaction seemed to last forver, with EVERYONE I have ever met in Glasgow watching my face turn bright red. Then this old dude kissed me on the head and said something about how we had a bond, despite our difference in years.

I swear, I thought it would never end. He kept coming back and hovering over me, slightly in danger of either kissing me again, or falling into my lap.

At last he was on his way, but not without many strange raspberry noises and several handshakes.

Then I was free to enjoy my night, and £2 richer! Score.