Grotto Dogs

The holiday season has brought some unexpected cheer to the Somerfield supermarket by our apartment. Usually confined to the back aisles (by the chocolates), the herd of stuffed Naturalistic Dogs has made its way south to a festive grotto that has been erected by the entrance. The structure is very basic: a sort of three-walled tent with various levels, covered with holiday treats. There are sort of ill looking dolls, candies, cakes, and- oddly enough- a Pet Vac. But in front of all these must-haves, there is a phalanx of about 4 Naturalistic Dogs, nearly life-sized.

The history of the Naturalistic Dog goes back to Oberlin, via the Jersey Shore, I believe. But no matter the origin, ND made his home in Ohio for quite some time. He wound up inside a vodka decanter in the freezer for a while, and then traveled to Cincinnati with me and BJ on a weekend jaunt. He lived in Queens and Brooklyn on and off throughout 2001-2004. He almost made it to Paris last year, but David forgot to post the package, and he was trapped in a closet in Brooklyn. I am afraid to say that I don't know where he is right now. It's a slightly frightening thought. I have a feeling he is in VT- his preferred spot in which to winter, perhaps he is 'en piste' as we speak.

I would like to think that he would be inspired by the size of these British brothers of his (they have GOT to be males). They are almost lions, sort of slumped on their sides, not quite alert; as if they had just eaten a huge meal of antelope, or a bucket of mac and cheese.

So, for all my complaints about food shopping here in Glasgow, it's all worth it to walk into Somerfield on a cold day and be welcomed by winking fairy lights and the freakishly realistic leer of a Naturalistic Dog.