Hellllo???????????

Dudes. I think we have all known for some time now that Keanu Reeves is just on another level. Am I right? I must be:



The man communicates via BANANAPHONE... which has been,like, my DREAM forever. Yes, forever.

But Keanu is a man of many parts, and some of those parts B nasty:




DUDE! That is some bogus shit!

But he has a certain hypnotic quality, don't you think? Even when hanging out of a car, spewing chunks all over the road, he is just so fucking ZEN.

Perhaps he has us all hypnotised. Like a Svengali-esque character, OR like this- officially the most hideous things I have ever clapped eyes on:



Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking hell. He's charming the snake IN HIS PANTS! From whence does this evil come?

I feel some killing coming on.