Seek and ye shall find

Sunday at work... worse than Saturday? Maybe, BUT the silver lining on this cloud is not to be believed. Witness my dreams coming true:



That's right: celebrity centaurs, people. And who better to embody these noble beasts of myth than the original odd couple, Jack Lemmon and- you guessed it- Walter Matthau. HOLY SHIT! This is the reason Al Gore invented the internet. Seriously. Whoever is responsible for this deserves a giant fruit basket... or my first born, whichever.

So, after a restless sleep (I dreamed I was vomiting in Topshop... and then also at a cabin in the woods. Who knows.) I realized that yesterday's post left a lot to be desired... how could I have let off these offenders?

My work is never done:



Mmmm hm, cast of Boy Meets World, folks. Never before has so heinous a crime been perpetrated on the American people... and I hate to admit, I went along for the ride... and loved every fucking minute of it.

Cory! Topanga! Shawn! Eric! Fucking *FEENY*! They haunt me to this very day. How can I even express the level of terror that Ben Savage's tightly knotted clown hair inspires in me? It's like that moment in an acid trip when you're afraid you'll NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN... not to mention the catchiest theme song to hit the streets since The Golden Girls. Whew! So, moving on:



Is this in ANY way fair? I mean, WHO do you think is going to win? Imagine being the rival team, coming to the game and knowing that the other guys have home rink advantage and- oh wait, they ALSO HAVE JESUS ON THE TEAM. I'd throw in the fucking towel right then and there. Hockey sucks anyway.

Speaking of unfair fucking advantages:



So who stands the better chance of winning the science fair... little Dopey McGinty there in the stripes or...ALBERT FUCKING EINSTEIN? Man, those other kids never even had a fucking chance! I know how they feel: it's like standing too close to a bonfire, or seeing the PERFECT LEATHER SKELETON JACKET and knowing you will never possess it.



You want it so bad you can't taste it, don't you; hanging there, all shiny and leathery and shit?

Well, might as well chuck it all in and be on my merry way... never gonna be a famous hockey player, never gonna split the fucking atom, never gonna slip your arms into the sleeves of that fine ass leather jacket... big fat WHOOP, people. I'll be okay, yup, be on my way, my head held high, I still have my dignity! They can't take that way from me.



Damn, these shits are heavier than they look!