Some thoughts

I overslept this morning... and by 'overslept' I mean my alarm went off, I woke up and turned it off and went back to sleep. Hells yeah! I then woke up an hour later, blurry, confused, pale and bloated as a dead fish- much as I imagine Walter Matthau might have spent the mornings of his twilight years. No ill will intended. I love you, Walter.

Annnyhoozles, as I was walking down to the bus I had a few thoughts:

1) WHY in god's name, does Beetlejuice not buy a chain of pet stores, sell pets ONLY on the condition that they be named Beetlejuice, and somehow make sure that they are very poorly behaved- thereby ENSURING that the owners of said pets would have to repeat the name Beetlejuice AT LEAST thrice, thereby bringing the ghoulish bio-exorcist to life? I mean DUH, Beetlejuice. How fucking hard could it be? That said, oh my god, how badly do I need to watch Beetlejuice again. Fucking brilliant movie.



'Somebody call my name?' Bwwahahahah! Hahh, oh MAN, whadda guy: Beetlejuice.

2) Hmm, what was the other thing? Could it just have been the Beetlejuice Pet Store idea? I mean, that's pretty good fucking work for one walk down to the bus stop, call me CRAZY. No, wait: on the way to the bus (after the Beetlejuice inspiration) I saw a little kid with REALLY cool glasses; glasses that made MY glasses look like Sally Jesse fucking RAPHAEL, people. What GIVES? This was not some Lower East Side, son of a hipster kid either, this was a 6 year old Catholic primary school student in the east end of Glasgow- NOT fashion centrale (pronounced 'chen'trah'lay', fyi), if you can believe it.



Seriously how much has that image been airbrushed... LOOK at it. It's SALLY JESSE RAPHAEL, people. What is the POINT of spending time trying to make her look younger? We all know she will eternally be 47 years old. That is one of the conditions the Evil Goat Lord gave her when she agreed to sell her soul to become famous... too bad HE LIED and she is actually an F List celeb with a really fucking heinous dress sense and glasses SO FUCKING HUGE that, if broken into bits and turned into NEW PAIRS OF GLASSES, could solve the vision problems of CHINA.



One of the other conditions was carrying this guy around with her and busting him out at parties. He's all about the crab dip.

Speaking of crabs:



Where there be Baldwin, there be crabs. And with that.... I'm off!