I'm a Winner!

Peeps, if you could only have been there with me at the magic moment. It was... magical.

Some kind souls gave me 16 scratch tickets for my birthday (that's right, bitches, it was my bday and you forgot. A pox on your pointy head) and I actually *won* £115. FREALZZZZZZZZZZZZ! I know! I was FRAKING out as well.

And NOW I have to decide how to spend my ill-gotten gains. Let me just say, I have a few eye-dee-ers:



That's right. Portable motherfucking FISHBOWL, y'all. Like a fine wine, take a sip, savour the flavour, and then tip your hat to my crazy stylings. It does not get much better than this.... and yet:




An extremely phallic hot dog car! Imagine me cruising the streets in this sweet hunny pot (mmmmm hmm, I said 'hunny', fools, just like Winnie T. Pooh). Like a bat out of hell. And I am thinking £115 is just what the asking price would be as well. Maybe a few pounds extra for some kickass detailing, and she's ready to roll.

Sure, it's a total ass magnet, but really, if I'm honest I would rather spend the money on something a leeetle more *ME*:



And by 'me', I mean two aged Muppet pimps to be my constant companions! WHAT could I have been thinking, even contemplating anything else?

They say you can't buy love... but this comes pretty durn close.

Fin.