Ohne titel

Cause nothing says 'pretentious' like untitled in German. Bwwwwwaaaahhh!

But seriously, folks. The sun is back (for now) and I am remarkably light-hearted. Mayhaps it is the extremely high amounts of caffeine surging through my veins, causing me to twitch and yelp like a banshee, maybe it's the gentle birdsong I hear through my window (propped open with a shoe- how effing MacGyver is THAT?), or maybe it is the sudden realization that tomorrow is Fry Day! Whoop!

Who knows. But gather ye rosebuds, friends. I am on a roll and must shine my little light while I can. Love is...

1) A human chess board. There aren't many things that make me as happy as a good old human chess board. Like the gods on high on Mt. Olympus, playing with the poor silly souls of humans, I imagine myself beared and toga-ed, perhaps feasting on some sweet ambrosia, a full wineskin (ew, dirty) at my hand, thoughtlessly tormenting some poor manimal... maybe making some dude think he is a spider, because I can DO that type of shiz.

2) Nostalgia. I am a sucker for that shit. Like a sepia photo of a hobo handing a little girl a rose... but the rose is bright RED... or a sleepy Bassett hound. My god, I'm PLOTZING just thinking about it. I can even get nostalgic about OHIO:

'Look! There's the corner where I saw that guy wearing a Burger King crown that time I was tripping and it totally made me lose my shit! And there's the pizza place whose name changed like 5 times in two months (you KNOW that shit is true)...'

3) Bugles. The instrument, the maize-based snack food and the incredible wealth of comedy bands using the word 'bugle' in their name:

Holy awkward childhood, Batman! This foursome is putting my gleaming bowl cut of youth to shame! Damn you, The Bugles! I bow to NOBODY!

And because wisdom comes with age, these Glory Bugles (please note that bugle is an anagram of bulge... just sayin. Glory Bulges would be a WHOLE other kettle of feesh, eh?) have seen things... things no person ever should.

...and that was just when they looked in a mirror! Bwaaaahahahahahah! I KILL me! Whoooooooo, take 'er easy there.

This one I love to hate:

4) The look on people's faces when they hear a song they like come on. Also know as the 'awww yeah, that's my JAM' look. It's even better/worse when they are dancing. Makes me want to ralph all over my shoes. I have been there myself, so am not throwing stones here, just nodding at fellow travellers on the path of life. It is akin to being in the line at the grocery store and seeing someone with the same thing in their basket as you. A wink and a nod, people. You might get lucky.

Please note: avoid those with the rubber gloves. No good can come of it.