Mon dieu!

Gerard Depardieu has done a lot of wrong...




Though, to be fair, really nobody gets away from this one clean. Was Bogus the world's first glimpse of the young HJ Osment?







BUT, he has done some right:









I have never really seen the appeal. Could it be I cannot spot that elusive je ne sais quoi? Could Gerard's charms have somehow passed me by? I am not one who likes to be left out in the cold, hence LE SEARCH:



Who doesn't love a good caricature? I sure as hell do. It brings me back to the days of my youth, when we went on our French class trip to Quebec City and EVERYONE in the class got a fucking caricature done. My nose was HUGE. And for some reason I was JUGGLING apples. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!? I don't even know how to juggle. Whatever, damage done. I now have a major complex about my huge nose, bulbous chin and poor juggling skills. Thinking back on it now, my caricature KIND of made ME and EVERYONE ELSE in my 7th Grade class look like Gerard Depardieu. Perhaps caricatures are the great equalizers.

Oh my god. PLEASE somebody, hold me back from the precipice.



This is one of the nastiest things I have ever seen. Kiefer Sutherland is bad enough in the flesh, with his snapping turtle lips, but looking at him as Jack Bauer in caricature form... it's like having somebody reach down your throat and shuffle cards in your stomach. Ace high!




" YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FAR I'M PREPARED TO GO! I WILL KILL YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE THE VIRUS IS!"

Okay. I have shaken it off. Or so I thought:



FUUUCK. WHO rendered Kiefer Sutherland in OILS, people? WHO. Who went out and BOUGHT the canvas, the paints, the turps and sat down, perhaps stroking their beard (whoever did this HAD to have a beard) and did the fucking sketches and then set the shit down on canvas? If it was you and you are reading this, give me your address asap. I am coming to kill you.

Gah! Now I'm all flustered. Well, I tried, people, I searched and searched and here is the ONE photo I could find where I can POSSIBLY start to see Gerard's charms:



Pas mal!