All apologies

OMG it has been, like, sooooo long since I last wrote. I have been busy at work. If by 'busy' I mean busy checking my email, bidding on troll figurines on eBay and watching my stories in the staffroom. Ha ha ha ahahahah mwahh! Boo yah!

Seriously though, I have actually about 2 hours worth of work to get through each day, so I must streeeetch it like so much taffy, salt water taffy. Par exemple: today I have sent one email to our graphic designer (who shall be known as TINY, for that is his name according to moi). That is all I will do for about 2 hours, when I will send another email... to whom shall I send it? Ooooh, I know not. That's what makes this job so damn exciting. That and the Russian roulette we play every morning at 10.

I have been spending some time watchign the days go by, as Roxette might say... and they go by realllly slowly when you have to pretend to be busy. Now, if I had it my way, I would be home in bed right now, and would only get up to eat some pie (this is clearly a fantasy) and turn on the tv to watch back-to-back episodes of Columbo, Diagnosis Murder, Family Ties (I have been sort of craving it lately, who knew!), and Beverly Hills 90210. God, how sweet it would be! Columbo's disheveled trench coat followed by Brenda's oddly manish outfits!

oooh, ooh! and I would even be up for some Doogie Howser, MD.
Does anybody have a suggestion for making this dream a reality that does not involve living in squalor due to having no income?